I lost the benefits of BF.. :(

My milk supply starts to drastically drop when Adam is about 1 year old.
It's not easy for me to decide whether to extremely stimulate back the milk production or just let it be.But due to my lazyness, i took no effort to add in extra session of pumping. I started to feel frustrated when i only manage to get 1.5 to 2oz per session. That means during my working days, i only manage to collect about 3oz per day which obviously means not enough supply. My frustration are deepen when the nursery are not giving my expressed BM to Adam. 1botol pegi, 1botol balik.. Rasa marah pon ada.. then only i discover that my baby refused to drink my milk from the bottle. Mungkin dia dah selesa minum FM.. So sad.. penat2 mama pam, last2 buang jek.. :( From that point onwards.. I gave up on pumping! But i still have about 30oz in my freezer. Sayangnyer..

It is almost 2months since i stopped expressing n actively BF my baby..i noticed major changes to my body.

1: my b*st are no longer sexy!
haih!! u know.. breastfeeding does makes u look sexy! hahahah.. feeling2 pamela anderson gitu! :P

2: i gain weight drastically!
the day i return to the office after giving birth,i kept on taking compliments about my weight. Something like this: "Wah..dah kurus balik..." "Murni maintain la lepas beranak ni".. eceh eceh.. kembang la tu kan.. thanks to breastfeeding! i kept on loosing weight..sampai kurus kering! mana taknya.. from 66kg(masa pregnant) to 48kg! that time, i worry much because i think i am so skinny sampai i lost my butt! pakai seluar sumer dah tak cun.. kebaya? simpan sebab too loose!(loose at the butt but ketat at the bust! :P) dah mcm baju pinjam.
Today.. SAYA SUDAH GEMUK! Hubby dah keluar statement mcm ni "Elok la mama pegi gym,mama dah boroi.." haih!! hello??? boroi kite nampak jek die.. boroi dia?? Cet! :P
In a few weeks.. i gain and gain and gain more weight! sampai 55kg dah! Magic kan? Oh lupa nak state: Saya memang mkn banyak!!! Dulu makan byk, tapi semua jadi susu.. tapi sekarang mkn byk, sumer jadi kat perut! See??? How i lost the benefits of BF???

Oh yes.. ada satu lagik changes that i noticed which somehow makes me sad.. dulu, baby n i bersempit tido sama2.. kalau mama tak tido sama dia, mesti dia tersedar n nangis "mamamamammamamama!!!" sekarang... dia mesti nak tido ngan papa dia! selagi papa tak baring.. selagi tu dia tak tido.. uwaaaaa!!!! My baby doesn't seems to be needing mommy lagik! Sedeyyyy...... :(